


i won't let go of your hand

by missveils (Missveils)



Series: Inquisitor Dáire Lavellan [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Body Horror, Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Hushed Whispers, Gen, Red Lyrium, Sad, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missveils/pseuds/missveils
Summary: “The day we thought you died, she was badly injured. She resisted any kind of imprisonment for months. She tried to break the bars, attacked her jailors every time they would bring her food. She fought back and almost died. After that, she didn’t have much strength to fight the lyrium.”A rustle and a sigh. Ellara emerges from behind the crystals and Dáire has to hold on the cell bars for support as his legs give in.--A retelling of In Hushed Whispers, where Dáire Lavellan meets his sister in Red Lyrium future :')
Series: Inquisitor Dáire Lavellan [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1694902
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	i won't let go of your hand

“You are Ellara Lavellan.”

“I am… Ellara Lavellan.”

Two voices at the end of the corridor. 

One louder, the other barely audible. 

For a moment, Dáire freezes in place, and then he bolts in the direction of the sound. 

“You are an elf.”

“I am… an elf.”

Solas. And the second voice-

“Your brother was called Dáire. He is dead.”

“My brother was called… Dáire. He-”

His hands reach the bars of the cells. In the first one, he finds Solas, red veins glowing under his skin, up to his eyes. He looks like he has not eaten in days. 

He turns to Dáire and takes a step back, wary. Then his eyes widen and he walks up to the gate.

“You… You are not a demon this time.” He reaches for Dáire’s hand wrapped around the bar, touching his fingers as if to make sure they are real. “You’re alive? We saw you die!”

“Solas? What-?”

“Who is it…?” 

His sister’s voice, from the adjacent cell. 

Dáire steps back from Solas’ cell and presses his face to the bars of Ellara’s. On the other side, he can only see red lyrium veins sprouting from the stone. Growing from the floor to the ceiling. 

“Where is she?!” He shouts. 

Behind him, Dorian explains the situation to Solas, as he melts the lock of the cell with magic. The words turn into a mumble as the red glow of the lyrium sears into his eyes. 

“Where is Ellara?” 

“I am… Ellara.” 

Her voice again, from the depths of the cell. 

Solas walks up to him and leans on the wall, weary. Dorian starts working the lock on Ellara’s cell with magic.

“The day we thought you died, she was badly injured. She resisted any kind of imprisonment for months. She tried to break the bars, attacked her jailors every time they would bring her food. She fought back and almost died. After that, she didn’t have much strength to fight the lyrium.”

A rustle and a sigh. Ellara emerges from behind the crystals and Dáire has to hold on the cell bars for support as his legs give in. 

Red lyrium grows from her. Up her arm, her neck, into her left eye. When she breathes, he can hear the crackle of shattered crystal from her lungs. 

“Dáire…? But you died.”

“It’s been weeks since I’ve heard her say something new,” Solas says as Dáire swings the gate open and walks up to his sister, embracing her. “Lyrium is affecting her mind, all our minds. I’ve been trying to keep her awake. To keep her aware of her surroundings.”

“I’m here, I’m alive, Ella. I was just sent to this time.” His voice breaks as she wraps her arms around him and they crack. 

“But that changes nothing,” she whispers. 

“I can go back. None of this has to happen, I promise.”

“But it has… You were gone. I could do nothing about it. I could only stare. And then they tried to take me and I fought. I wanted them to kill me. I did not want this.”

Every word sounds like shattered glass and sends a shiver down Dáires spine. He just holds her closer. 

“You can go back?” Solas asks. “You could return and obviate the events of the last year. It may not be too late.”

“We will try. But we will need as much help as we can get.” Dorian replies, handing him the staff they picked earlier. 

“If there is any hope, my life is yours. This world must not come to pass, it is an abomination.” Solas takes the staff, leaning heavily on it. “Inquisitor?”

Dáire steps back, still holding Ellara’s arms.

“Can you hold a bow, Ella?”

She nods and picks up the bow he offers her. The crystals on her arm crack like an icicle as she tenses the string. If it hurts she does not show it. She shows no emotion when she speaks.

“Let’s go.”

—————-

She stops in the middle of the corridor again, her eyes lost in the distance. Once more, Solas patiently walks to her and repeats the same phrases over, and over. Every time he does, they help her keep moving. 

You are Ellara. You are an elf. Your brother is called Dáire. Your brother is… alive, here. 

She repeats them one by one after him. This time, however, she stops halfway through the first sentence. 

“I am not. I am not Ellara. This is not real. The real Ellara is alive and well, back in the past. This is not going to happen. This is not real, it is not real…”

Solas goes quiet at this. Dáire wraps his arm around Ellara’s shoulders, but she pushes it off her and keeps walking forward. 

“Don’t. Just… Let me forget. It will make this easier for you, Dáire. It will make it easier for me too.”

—

Alexius lies dead. 

The ground shakes. The stones groan like the ceiling is coming down. There will be no time to create the rift again at this rate. They don’t have one hour. 

Solas exchanges a look with Ellara and she nods. Dáire’s blood goes cold as he realises what this means. Solas is the one to speak it into reality:

“We’ll hold the outer door. When they get past us, it will be your turn.”

“No! I cannot let you do this! I will not watch you kill yourselves so I can survive.”

“Dáire.” 

Ellara has not spoken to him for hours. Her voice crackles even more than before. 

“We are already dead.” Her eyes remain emotionless but her voice is softer. 

“Ella…” The words catch in his throat. 

He cannot let her do this to save him. Even here, he cannot watch her die. 

She holds his shoulders and looks at him with stern eyes. Yet there is a slight tremor to the fingers that dig into his arms. 

“I am not Ellara. I am not alive. This is not real. The only way to save the real me is to go back and make it so I have never existed.”

She releases her hold on him and Dáire wants to hold her back. Hold her and Solas back and wait. Wait for the walls to come down. And maybe they won’t make it but he won’t be responsible for his sister’s death. 

And then he thinks of the Ellara in the past. Existing in that second where she believes he is dead. And he cannot move. He is not brave enough to hold her here. 

“This is not real. Hold onto that thought. I know you can do this.”

With that, she turns and walks with Solas past the gate. She readies her bow and does not turn as the gates close heavily behind her. 

As Dorian casts his spell, Dáire hears the sounds of the fight, the screams, the sound of arrows breaking, and crystal shattering. As the demons breach the gate, he turns to avoid seeing more than a glimpse of the one dragging his sister’s broken body across the floor. 

She is not real. This is a bad dream. Once we are back this will be over. Ellara and Solas will be fine. They will be alive. This is not real. Dorian, please, please, open that rift. 

It opens. He crosses through and does not look back. 

And he falls to his knees in Redcliffe, in the hall that’s not dark but lit by candles. 

He hears Dorian confront Alexius, but does not hear him. He stands and runs towards Ellara, stumbling. She hugs him tightly as he reaches her. 

“Is this real?” 

“Dáire? Are you okay? What happened?”

“Is this real, Ellara?” He repeats, probably louder than he intended. “Are you real?” 

“Yes? Yes, of course I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dáire Lavellan is @littlegumshoe's (on tumblr)  
> Ellara Lavellan is my companion OC <3


End file.
